http://www.innovationexcellence.com/blog/2012/11/10/leadership-influence-relationships/
Have you ever wondered why some people have more influence than
others? It’s because they invest more “in” others. Those with influence
have built into others through some form of consistent direct or
indirect contribution. Those with the greatest amount of influence
almost always have the strongest relationships. My hypothesis is a
rather simple one: If true leadership is about influence, then influence
is about relationships, and relationships are about the investments
made into people. In today’s post I’ll examine the ties between
leadership, influence and relationships…
You cannot be an effective leader without influence. Let me make this
as simple as I can – if you’re a leader, influence needs to be a
competency. The key to developing influence is understanding contacts
and relationships are not synonymous. Don’t confuse a database with a
sphere of influence.
A database consists of information records, and a
sphere of influence consists of meaningful relationships built upon a
foundation of trust – a point of distinction lost upon many. Spammers
and info-product sales people add contacts to a database, while savvy
professionals interested in creating influence invest into people for
the purpose of creating and sustaining high value relationships.
As business people nothing is more valuable than the quality of your
relationships. Whether you realize it or not, your success in business
(and in life) will largely be dependant upon your ability to not only
establish key relationships, but in your ability to influence and add
value to your relationships. We have all known professionals that have
been smarter, more affable, better looking, possess a better CV, or are
more talented than their peers, yet they never seem to rise to the top.
These professionals who seem to have the whole package yet fail to grab
the brass ring simply don’t understand the power of relationships –
they’ve failed to invest in people. Again, leadership isn’t about any
single person, but rather a complex ecosystem of meaningful
relationships.
Lest you think I’m overly mercenary in my approach, and only view
people as pawns in a chess game, let me introduce you to Myatt’s golden
rule of building relationships: ”Give, give, give some more, give until
it hurts, and then when you have nothing left to give, you guessed
it…give even more.” The best relationships are not built on the backs of
others, but rather they are built by helping others succeed. It is by
building into others and through assisting others in reaching their
goals and objectives that you will find success. Reflect back upon your
own experience and contrast the responses you’ve received when you ask
for help from someone that you’ve previously provided assistance
to, versus asking the same favor from a casual acquaintance that you’ve
never lifted a finger to help.
When you closely examine the core characteristics of what really
makes for great leadership, it’s not power, title, authority or even
technical competency that distinguishes truly great leaders. Rather it’s
the ability to both earn and keep the loyalty and trust of those whom
they lead that sets them apart. Put simply, Leadership is about
relationships, and the trust, stewardship, care, concern, service,
humility and understanding that need to occur in order to create and
nurture them. If you build into those you lead, if you make them better,
if you add value to their lives then you will have earned their trust
and loyalty. This is the type of bond that will span positional and
philosophical gaps, survive mistakes, challenges, downturns and other
obstacles that will inevitably occur.
You don’t change mindsets by being right, you do it by showing you
care. Logic and reason have their place, but they rarely will overcome a
strong emotional or philosophical position. Trying to cram your
positional logic down the throat of others will simply leave a very bad
taste in their mouths. This is a very tough lesson for many to learn,
but a critical one if you take your duties, obligations and
responsibilities as a leader seriously. The best leaders are capable of
aligning and unifying opposing interests for a greater good. You won’t
ever become a truly successful leader until you understand a person’s
need to be heard and understood is much more important than satisfying
your need to impart wisdom I’m going to make this as simple as I
can…leadership is all about relationships. It’s the people – nothing
more & nothing less.
Being right isn’t the goal – accomplishing the mission is. If you can
only lead those who agree with you then you will have a very small
sphere of influence. Stop and think about this for a moment – history is
littered with powerful leaders who have fallen, failed, or who have
been replaced, usurped or betrayed. Fear doesn’t engender loyalty,
respect or trust – it breeds resentment and malcontent. A leader not
first and foremost accountable to their people will eventually be held accountable by their people.
Generally speaking there are two types of spheres of influence…those
that just evolve over time by default, and those that are strategically
engineered. While contacts are rarely purpose driven, relationships are
highly intentional. People who are influential have spent years
developing relationships spanning geographies, industries, and practice
areas. They have invested both time and money developing these
relationships to a high level of mutual benefit.
So why is it that most people aren’t as influential as they would
like to be? The answer is that most professionals, even if they
intellectually understand the benefits of what I’m espousing, just don’t
do the work it takes to build an influential network. Great
relationships take great amounts of effort, energy and commitment. Think
of the most successful people you’ve ever known and they will always
seem to know the right person to call on in any given situation
to influence or decision the needed outcome. This type of influence
doesn’t just happen, rather it has taken years of painstaking effort.
If you want to create a powerful sphere of influence start by taking the following ten steps:
1. Create a Vision: Take pause and examine where you
are currently in your professional career as contrasted with where you
want to go. Think about the people who could help you reach your
destination more quickly and efficiently. Don’t put any artificial
ceilings on your thinking – remember that almost anyone on the planet is
only a few degrees of separation away from you. Be sure that your
vision is based first and foremost on adding value to the lives and
careers of others. Building a great relationship has little to do with
what you get out of it, but everything to do with what you put into it…
2. Take an Inventory: Once you have a clear vision
of where you want to go, take a personal inventory of your contacts and
relationships. See who it is that you know, but also pay attention to
who they know. Review in detail each and every relationship in your
network and rank them on a scale from 1 to 5 with 5 being the contacts
perceived to be of the greatest value to you. Make a detailed
relationship plan for each of the people that rank 3 or higher. Take a
personal interest in rekindling those relationships and finding out how
you can help them succeed.
3. Participate in the Dialogue: Develop a strong
core competency, and then give freely of your time and knowledge. Be
visible and accessible, and don’t approach business solely based on a
“what’s in it for me” attitude. Don’t be a joiner unless you can be a contributor.
I belong to a number of organizations I will likely never see a paying
client from, but it is through these groups I build relationships that
will help me serve my clients. These relationships are only built
because of the time I invest in them. Relationships don’t get built
overnight, and are not built without active participation.
4. Value Your Network: It is critical you develop a keen understanding of the following point – your network is your business. The
core value of your business is not actually steeped in the conventional
thinking imparted to you in business school. The reality is the true
intrinsic value of a business is in your network, which adds value to
your products, services, brand, stakeholders etc. A strong network =
sustainability. It’s your network that will provide you much needed
resources, influence and leverage in both good times and bad.
5. Focus on the Positive: Don’t waste time with
those who only see problems and flaws, but cannot ever seem to create
solutions. The world is full of bitter people, small thinkers, naysayers
and those who just get their kicks out of sniping from a safe distance.
Remove these people from your network. Associate with energy gainers
and not energy drainers. People do business with people they like, and
avoid doing business with people they don’t like – it’s just that
simple. Are you approachable, positive, affable, trustworthy, a person
of character and integrity, or are you someone who is standoffish,
pessimistic and generally not to be trusted? Those who fall into the
camp of the former as opposed to the latter will find themselves having
more influence and success. The key take away here is that being a jerk
doesn’t lead to the creation of influence.
6. Quantity and Quality Both Matter: Successful
networking requires an understanding there needs to be a balance between
quantity and quality. Well built spheres of influence are both
inclusive and exclusive, and while the emphasis should always error on
the side of quality, this assumes you have sufficient numbers to create
leverage and scale to your networking efforts. You want to avoid at all
costs the appearance of simply being in it solely for the numbers, but
it is also important not to be viewed as a networking snob who doesn’t
reciprocate.
7. Influence is built upon a foundation of trust: If
a person is not trusted there is a firm limit on their ability to
create and use influence. People will rarely make a leap of faith for
someone who hasn’t earned their trust. However most people will gladly
take a blind leap of faith for someone whom they have come to trust.
Trust matters.
8. Influence is built upon making others successful: This
is often times referred to as the law of reciprocity. The theory is
that if you invest yourself in making someone else successful, then they
in turn will likely be predisposed to helping you become successful.
While this principle will not always pan out, in my experience it has
held true across the overwhelming majority of my interactions through
the years. True influence is rarely built upon the backs of others, but
rather by helping others achieve their goals.
9. Influence is most often possessed by those with authority:
It is important to realize that there is a reason for the statement
“the highest authority is that which is given, and rarely that which is
taken.” Authority is most often given to those who display honesty,
competency, empathy, expertise and wisdom. With authority comes
credibility, and with credibility comes influence. While influence can
be wielded by those without authority, it will be limited in both scope
and scale. Those with the most authority will always have the most
influence.
10. Value and scarcity drive influence: Understanding
the value of your position, brand, authority, resources, access to
people or knowledge and any number of other items as it relates to
fulfilling the needs and desires of others creates influence. To the
extent anything under your direct or indirect control is scarce or
proprietary your ability to create influence will increase
significantly.
Keep in mind the purpose of developing influence is not to manipulate
for personal gain, but rather to facilitate for mutual benefit. Take a
sincere interest in the success of others, work on your likability
factor, become adept at gaining commitment, develop your authority,
secure access to things of value and/or scarcity, and your influence
with others will increase.
Bottom line – engineer a relationship development plan built upon
service, trust, giving and adding value – then work the plan. Before you
whine about how much time this will take, consider if you will the
potential rewards at stake and ask yourself this question: Can I afford
not to do this?
